The Bible warns us about many sins to avoid and while they all have eternal consequences, some are particularly ensnaring. Throughout the scriptures, we are warned to flee sexual immorality. Adultery, covetousness, lust, and envy are the fruit of a person mired in this type of sin. While there are many sins contributing to immoral living, there is one that dominates the lives of many inside and outside of the church. Pornography is a sin that’s devastating the lives of men, women, families, and fellowships. The world’s affair with pornography is well known. Unfortunately, the same thing can be said about many in the evangelical church who are flirting with Jezebel.
Just as Jezebel led her husband King Ahab and others to worship Baal, her name is synonymous with sexual immorality in the New Testament. Jesus mentions the woman Jezebel and her immoral ways to describe what the church at Thyatira was tolerating and engaging in.
The scourge of pornography on society along with its devastating effects on individuals is well documented. All sins have ramifications beyond the individual committing the transgression but pornography by its very nature is a particular sin that quickly devastates everyone involved. It is cancer that eats away at the heart, mind, conscience, and soul. It decimates marriages, families, churches, and if left unchecked, even souls. I understand pornography is a trap that a growing number of women are falling into, so even though I’m addressing men in particular, I hope that women will be convicted and set free as well. Let’s examine the root causes, effects, and freedom from pornography in the light of scripture. Revelation 2:18-21
If we’re not careful, we can begin to read the Bible and before too long, we feel like we are simply reading words on a page. Please let this be a wake-up call. Anytime you read the Bible, you are reading the very word of God. This is the case in Revelation 2:18 as the Lord Jesus Himself warns the church at Thyatira and us about sexual sin. The holy Son of God, with eyes like flames of fire and feet like burnished bronze, is warning us about ‘doing ministry’ all the while tolerating Jezebel as some engage in sexual immorality. Jesus indeed mentions the church at Thyatira church and their works, love, faith, and service. He also warns them and us that if they don’t repent, He will cast the church onto a sickbed.
The same goes for our churches because they are made up of individual believers. Many pastors, elders, and leaders are addressing this issue in the lives of their flock. My church has godly leadership in place and they aren’t afraid to tackle the hard issues and speak biblical truths into the lives of those they lead. While many godly shepherds are warning about the personal sinful indulgences of pornography, other leaders won’t approach the subject. This unwillingness to tackle real-life issues can be seen in fellowships and small groups of well-meaning people. I love fellowship so please understand, I’m not down on church or small groups because Christians gathering together is vitally important in order to stand and finish well. I’m simply jealous of the rightful place of ‘church’ and ‘fellowship’ in Christian life because many are becoming social hubs, not places of prayer, evangelism, and discipleship.
How does accountability look within the context of a church or small group? It looks like a group with a number of believers gathering together and doing the following: praying and confessing.
And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:15-20
When it comes to confessing particular sexual sins such as pornography, it is wise to always have men confess and be accountable to other men and women to confess and be accountable to other women.
So what does this have to do with pornography? Everything, because instead of talking about going deep or being accountable, we are actually doing it! The Apostle James breaks down Christian fellowship by telling us to confess sin and pray for one another. Prayer and confession of sins bring things like porn addiction and engaging in sexual immorality while professing Christianity to the surface. This is truly doing life together, accountability, and authenticity. Love other believers enough to address real sin issues and refuse to go through the motions. 1 Corinthians 6:15-20
Before we continue, I want to give you a few statistics about pornography:
The Rand Corporation reports that kids who viewed sexual images were twice as likely to engage in sexual activity within a year. 89% of web-based pornography originates from the U.S. In 2001, 18 million Americans visited pornographic websites annually. Just eight years later, 78 million Americans visited pornographic sites at least once a month. In 2006, the porn industry took in 13 billion dollars, more than the combined revenues of CBS, NBC, and ABC. A new pornographic video is created every 39 minutes on average. Every day more than 68 million requests for porn are made on search engines, accounting for 25% of all internet searches, which simply means one out of four searches is someone looking for pornography. Over 100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography. Ultimately, pornography will destroy lives and souls. Pornography leads to other forms of sexual immorality including adultery. It leads to perversion including homosexuality, bestiality, and child pornography. It leads to violence against women including murder.
Ted Bundy confessed to murdering at least 30 women in the 1980s and in an interview he stated that pornography played a major role in his appetite for violence against them. Pornography can and often leads males to abuse women physically. A generation of young men is being brought up with the notion that it’s just boys ‘ behavior when looking at sexual images. The world and media are dictating the standards on what is considered ‘entertainment’ and moreover, what is deemed as socially acceptable behavior and that’s frightening enough.
What’s more alarming are the statistics from within the church and self-professing Christians. At least 55% of Christian men surveyed admit to viewing pornographic material at least once per month. At least 35% of these Christian men admit to cheating on their spouses in an extramarital affair. Sexual immorality and pornography addiction are rampant among a growing number of men in the church.
In 2016, a survey of 3,000 pastors found the following: Among the pastors surveyed, 21% of youth pastors admit a struggle with porn while 14% of senior pastors admit issues with porn. 55% of these men live in constant fear of being discovered. Interestingly only 8% of pastors believe that pastors should have to resign their positions if they struggle with porn. In contrast, over 41% of adult Christians believe a pastor should be forced to resign or be fired if found to be using pornography. We must quit coddling sin within the church and care for these men enough to confront them. The Lord may use that to convict of sin. It may open up godly sorrow that leads to repentance.
We also need to be reminded of the fact that the fact men and women who have been trapped in the sin of pornography and sexual immorality can and should be restored to fellowship within the church and lead godly lives as an example of God’s mercy and restoration, provided they have repented of the sin. *Statistics from Barna Group Research and Josh McDowell Ministries.
Pornography leads to all sorts of sexual sins including masturbation, physical/mental abuse, abandonment, adultery, fornication, dominating behavior, isolation, anger, rape, pedophilia, exploitation of children-women, human trafficking, and even murder. Intimacy in marriage, protecting and shepherding our wives, and testimonies before our sons and daughters are ruined. Divorce and broken families are often the end result of pornography addiction.
Christian men, let’s not fool ourselves and assume with pride that we are above reproach. If it weren’t for God’s grace, anyone, including myself, could be caught up in this sin of pornography and sexual immorality.
It hits closer to home when we quit playing games with God and call things for what they are. We can be self-diluted to the point that we can rationalize and excuse the behavior because we are under grace right? Yes, we are under grace but that doesn’t give us a license to go on sinning. As I mentioned before, sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body and God. Just as devastating are the lusts of the eyes. 1 John 2:16-17
Men, I’m writing to you as one who wants to build you up as a brother and exhort you in love. Let’s be truthful and acknowledge that there is an opportunity to fulfill the lust of the eyes almost everywhere we go. When we think of pornography, most of us think of the vile pictures and videos which expose the images of women that equivocate them as objects to be used or a means of self-gratification. There is another type of pornography that is just as dangerous to your soul. It is on billboards, magazines, windows of Victoria’s Secret and other mall stores, and all over television. It is the dulling of men’s eyes, spirit, and conscience to look lustfully at women. I know it is impractical to walk around all day with a blindfold on, so here’s the deal. Make a covenant with your eyes not to look at a woman with lustful intentions. I mentioned this in a previous article but I will repeat the point that if the woman isn’t your wife, look away!
Sexual immorality is a sin that’s been practiced through the centuries. With the onset of modern media like computers, television, and print, sexual morality is rampant. Walking through the local shopping mall is even dangerous to the eyes. There are half-nude life-size posters of people in every other store window it seems. Grocery store checkout lines are no better. There are revealing images in magazines that shouldn’t be seen by anyone. You can call this soft porn or whatever you like, it is still garbage.
When my sons and I watch a football game and there is a closeup of the cheerleaders or a commercial with a woman with very little clothing, I turn away or just get up. I explain to them that our eyes belong to our wife or future wife. As men, we are visual and I don’t want images of someone else to cloud my God-given desire for one woman, in marriage, for life. I don’t think less of anyone who has a cable but I pulled the plug a long time ago because you can’t control what is coming into your living room.
Let’s set a godly example for our sons, our daughters, and other men in our lives by not playing the world’s games. Our eyes belong to the Lord and our wives. It comes down to either committing adultery with our eyes in our hearts or not. I want my daughters to know, this is how a true Christian man should treat you. I want my wife to feel precious above all women. I want my wife to know she is my best friend and treasure, not just another female among billions of others.
I believe one of the reasons boys are becoming so desensitized to sexual images is because many ‘Christian’ men allow this filth to flow into their homes and perhaps even don’t see a problem with it. If this is you, this is not the way to bond with your son. Drop the silly man cave shows and lead by example. If you sit there and watch the sleazy Super Bowl Half Time Show complete with wardrobe malfunctions, and dirty dancing, what kind of message will it send? How can we expect boys to hunger and thirst after righteousness if we watch Breaking Bad, Shameless, or Madmen? How can we expect boys to save their eyes and desire for their wives when we are staring at every woman we see? Don’t kid yourself because if you live this way, your kids will see you as a Christian hypocrite.
These young men need to know what the Bible says about sexual immorality and it’s the ultimate road to death. Unfortunately, boys are finding porn in increasing numbers. We can and should highly filter our home internet connections and protect our kid’s minds at all costs. With this in mind, we also need to realize that we can’t be with them 24/7. That’s why teaching them what the Bible says about sexuality is paramount. That doesn’t mean having ‘the talk’ with our son once when he turns twelve. We should show these values by word and deed throughout our time at home and beyond. 
If the television is a stumbling block to your Christian walk, unplug it. If your computer screen is a portal to look at naked women and other pornographic material, take action. You can get accountability software, have the computer on only when your wife is in the same room, or if you can’t control your immorality, take a sledgehammer and destroy it. If you have a lust problem and can’t keep your eyes off of the pretty lady at work or quit confiding in her because you are “just friends” after all, quit your job. If you are in an adulterous relationship and your so-called lover lives in the same area, move to a different town. Repent of your sin, tell your wife the truth, and get solid, godly counsel.
Isn’t it time to quit making excuses for sin and always labeling it a personal struggle. Here is a good indicator about media viewing, if I’m nervous or secretive about what I’m watching and would feel busted or caught if my wife knew about it, it’s a danger to my soul. If we are truly Christians as we say we are, we need to be truthful with the Lord and call it what it is, sin. Matthew 5:27-29
Young man, just because you aren’t married yet doesn’t give you the right to masturbate, look at sexual images of women, or fornicate with your girlfriend in some secluded area. It doesn’t give you the right to share the same home and bed with your girlfriend either. She doesn’t belong to you. Love your woman enough to respect her enough not to gratify yourself. Don’t have sex with her until you are married; if you can’t wait, love her enough to marry her. Your high school or college girlfriend isn’t some cheap hand-me-down to be used, she is an individual with a soul. It’s time we start caring for and protecting women like sisters because if you are a Christian, they are.
Young and mature men alike need to stop making excuses for sinful behavior and get help. Be accountable to someone and get into a church or fellowship that actually practices godly accountability. Some churches and fellowships will disciple you and show what a godly life looks like by example.
Friends, if you need help or prayer in this area, please write us here through our ministry contact us page. You don’t have to face this alone although Satan would have you believe that. There is no sin too large for God to forgive. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. He loves both men and women caught in this sin. Our resources page has several ministries that confront the prison that is sexual sin, so please check them out. Romans 6:6
If you happen to stumble upon this article and you don’t know where you will spend eternity or if you will go to heaven when you die, please contact us or click on the Are You Saved? Page. There is freedom from sin as you confess and repent, you can be alive to God in Jesus. He made a way so that we no longer have to be slaves to sin, including the sin of sexual immorality and pornography. Jesus is coming soon, quit flirting with Jezebel.
All for Him,
Howard
